[taSneem]

Muslim Character

There are people who think that “a perfect Muslim” is simply one who is correct in the observance of the salah (ritual Prayer), the fasting, the zakah (payment of a certain portion of one’s wealth to the poor), and the Hajj (pilgrimage to Makkah). This indeed is not the case. If the ritual observances do not help the person to be humble, virtuous and truly God-fearing, then he or she is not a real Muslim. A Muslim should be good and just in dealing with others, no matter their religion, and take special care to keep away from all the shameful and sinful things Allah (God) has forbidden.

We can summarize the teachings of Islam about the Muslim character succinctly in this form:

Be truthful in everything, don’t lie.
Be sincere and straightforward, don’t be hypocritical.
Be honest, don’t be corrupt.
Be humble, don’t be boastful.
Be moderate, don’t be excessive.
Be reserved, don’t be garrulous.
Be soft-spoken, don’t be loud.
Be refined and gentle in speech, don’t cure and use foul language.
Be loving and solicitous to others, don’t be unmindful of them.
Be considerate and compassionate, don’t be harsh.
Be polite and respectful to people, don’t be insulting or disrespectful.
Be generous and charitable, don’t be selfish and miserly.
Be good natured and forgiving, don’t be bitter and resentful.
Share and be content with what Allah has given you, don’t be greedy.
Be cheerful and pleasant, don’t be irritable and morose.
Be chaste and pure, don’t be lustful.
Be alert and aware of the world around you, don’t be absent-minded.
Be dignified and decent, don’t be graceless.
Be optimistic and hopeful, don’t be cynical or pessimistic.
Be confident and have deep faith, don’t be doubtful and wavering.
Be spiritually oriented and not materialistic.
Be confident of the mercy of Allah, don’t be despairing and lose heart.
Be diligent and vigilant of your duties, don’t be negligent.
Be thankful to Allah and constantly pray to Him, don’t be forgetful of His innumerable blessings.

(Source islamonline.net)

[Ryan]

Alhamdulillah, this is excellent, worthy of printing out and making into a poster! Jazak-Allah!

[muharrem]

That post is really good,
u sure have defined really what a 'perfect muslim' is.

[SmokeyKebab]

Those things may make for a perfect muslim but can someone really have all those attributes? I'm sure a lot of muclims have a lot of them qualities but i can't see many muslims having each and every one of them.

[DrEaMinG]

Some people may not have all of those qualitites but remember that they can be achieved. THINK POSITIVELY

[SmokeyKebab]

really

This post has been edited by _thisusernameis32characterslong_: Sep 8 2004, 07:29 AM

[umisa]

it's a good guide for people who really do want to be better muslims, mind you it's not always easy to stick to.
Allah give us the strength to keep on the right path.
Allah have mercy on us if we make mistakes along the way.

[abumuhammed]

Haya (Shyness)

What is Haya?
Haya itself is derived from the word hayat which means life. This term covers a wide number of concepts. In English, it may be translated as modesty, shyness, self-respect, bashfulness, shame, honour, humility, etc. The original meaning of Haya according to a believer's nature, refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one's fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.
Islamically Haya is an attribute which pushes the believer to avoid anything distasteful or abominable. It keeps him/her from being neglectful in giving everyone what is due to them, and if for any reason he/she is not able to keep up with his/her commitment then they will feel extremely uncomfortable and ashamed about this. The reason being that he/she will have displeased Allah by breaking a commitment of responsibility.

Haya plays a huge role in the lives of Muslims because it is a very important part of our Iman (faith/belief). If we do not have any form of haya within us then it is most likely that our Iman is very weak. For as it states in the following hadith:
Narrated by Abu Huraira (ra): The Prophet (saws) said, "Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And Haya is a part of faith." (Bukhari)
We also learn from the Prophet (saws) the importance of having haya and how it is not something to be ashamed about. Instead, one should be very concerned and ashamed if they do not possess this quality within their character.

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar (ra): The Prophet (saws) passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding Haya and was saying, "You are very shy, and I am afraid that might harm you." On that, Allah's Apostle said, "Leave him, for Haya is (a part) of Faith." (Bukhari)
Now the above hadith is also a form of proof that "shyness" is not just something regarding women but also an attribute that believing men should have, for it is an indication of wether they truly fear Allah and an indication of the value of their Deen.

When we think back to when we were young around eight or nine years old - we all remember this feeling of shyness and humility naturally occurring - for many it was when we felt we wanted to conceal our bodies from our mums or siblings. We were often told - "don't be silly" or "we have seen it all before" and the many other comments that people in the west or ignorant Muslim parents affected by the western values (or lack of them) say to their pure children. If these natural instincts of shyness and shame are taken by the smart parent and nurtured, it will develop and affect their entire character and also most importantly lead to a conscious responsible Muslim who prioritises their life towards submission to Allah (swt).

We often find that shyness, humility and bashfulness is frowned upon by our society as a weakness or a lack of confidence when, infact these are qualities of a dignified upright human being, who is conscious of their actions and their responsibilities in life.

Imam Ibnu Al Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, stated that Haya is a part of life, and depending on how much Haya the heart possesses, actually reflects how much moral character the individual may have. The smaller the amount of Haya the individual, shows the greater the deficiency of spiritual life and ineffectiveness his ability and competence reflects. Haya may be practised between a servant and his Rabb (Lord), when the servant shows shyness for his Rabb (Lord), especially in committing a disobedience. It may also be practised between a person and other people.

Now the Haya` between the servant and his Rabb, was explained in a Hadeeth by the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam who said: "Be shy of Allah as you should truly be shy. They said: We are shy (of Allah), O Prophet. He said, It is much more than that. He who is truly shy of Allah, let him preserve his head and what it perceives, let him preserve his stomach and what it desires, let him remember death and afflictions, and he who desires the Hereafter abandons the adornments of this world. He who performs all these, is the one who is shy of Allah as he should be".
In another Hadeeth it states that, "He who is shy of Allah, Allah (swt) is also shy of him." Thus the shyness between Allah and his servant, is the shyness of honour, generosity and sublimity, because Allah the Almighty is shy to refuse his servant when he raises his hands in supplication or du'a.

Now to discuss the different types of haya. How many types of haya are there?
Haya' is of two kinds: good and bad:
The good Haya is to be ashamed to commit a sin or a thing which Allah and His Messenger (saws) have forbidden, and bad Haya' is to feel ashamed to do a thing, which Allah and His Messenger (saws) ordered us to do.

Firstly, to talk about the types of Good haya. For example, anyone who is a believer, he/she should build their personalities and their character with the best dimensions of haya. The most important thing is that he/she must be shy of doing ANYTHING displeasing to Allah (swt), with the belief that he/she will have to answer for all the actions they do. If one develops a sense such as this one, it will help the believer to obey all of Allah's command and to stay away from sins. Once the believer realises that Allah (swt) is watching us all the time and that we will have to answer to every move we make in this dunya (world), he/she would not neglect any order from Allah or His Messenger (saws). So the stronger this sense of haya becomes, the more it motivates one to make sure that Allah (swt) doesn't see him/her doing anything prohibited. The way to develop this haya is that one must keep learning and absorbing more knowledge and applying it to their lives.
Another type of haya is more of a social aspect concerning others besides Allah (swt). Normally these things often happen in regard with ones relationship with family. For instance, a child not wanting to do something displeasing to his mother, or a wife not wanting to do something displeasing to her husband or even a student who is careful about saying something incorrect in front of his teacher.

Last but not least is the type of haya in which the believers become shy of themselves. This is when they have reached the highest peek of iman. What this means is that if they do, or say, or see, anything wrong or even commit the tiniest sin, they start to feel extremely bad and embarrassed or they feel extreme guilt in their heart. This builds a high degree of self-consciousness and that is what strengthens the believers commitment to Allah (swt).
After discussing the various types of "beneficial" haya, it is time to discuss the type of haya which is not only against the teachings of our Prophet (saws) but it is also solid proof of the weakness and lacking in someone's iman. This negative aspect revolves around a person's shamefulness or shyness of doing something that Allah (swt) has ordered us to do through the Qur'an or our Prophet's (saws) Sunnah. This constitutes the shamefulness or embarrassment of doing a lawful act or something that is ordered upon us from Allah (swt). This is when someone does not follow an obligation of Islam, due the fact of being shy in front of others about it. This is totally forbidden because then one is giving the people of this dunya more respect and obedience than the One who Created this whole universe.
It also can be exemplified by someone being shy or afraid to seek knowledge of Islam for worldly reasons, because they do not want others to see them or to know of their ignorance. This once again goes contrary to what Allah (swt) has told us in the Qur'an, which is to seek knowledge and preach it to others.

In this society there are many examples of this. People will go out and get degrees in law schools, or science, or engineering and they will put four to six years of their lives into studying for these certificates that will only benefit them in this world. Why? You ask? unfortunately because many in this society, including Muslims, choose their careers according to how much money they will make and what status they will have in this society. Their motivation is for this world not for the next. They do not realise that in Islam the BEST stature of a Muslim is that of a "dai'i" or a teacher of Islam. These Islamic teachers and scholars are even higher in the eyes of Allah (swt) than one who only sits at home and does ibaadah (worship). If they want to study law, why not Islamic Shariah? If they want to study science, why not Islamic Science? So this explains how people consider the worldly careers to be of higher value and are embarrassed to even express an interest in Islamic Studies. It is usually because they will not be considered as high as the other "educated" people. This is having the bad haya or "shame" of something that is encouraged to us by Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw).

Another proof of bad haya is that which is extremely popular amongst many sisters in this western society, that is the issue of hijab and general behaviour in public.
One of the most important aspects of haya, for women, is that of guarding their chastity and their modesty. To do this they must follow the order from Allah (swt) telling them to keep themselves and their adornments hidden from all men lawful to them in marriage. This order involves all the aspects of haya for those who do follow it. The believing women are ashamed of disobeying Allah (swt). They are shy of the opposite gender in this society because of what they might experience if strange men look at them and lastly they have haya because they feel shy about going out in public and committing this grave sin of displaying their beauty is public. There are many women in this society who claim that they have haya but to follow the order of hijab is backwards and that women in this society shouldn't have to cover, to have this attitude is obviously disbelief. For if someone really had haya they would never contradict ANYTHING that Allah (swt) had ordained, even if they found it a test and a trial.

A women's haya comes from her modesty and her shyness and her fear of Allah, so how can she have haya if she walks around in public un-veiled? The proof lies in the following hadith.
Abdullah ibn Umar (ra) narrated that the Prophet (saws) said: "Indeed haya (modesty) and Iman are Companions. When one of them is lifted, the other leaves as well." (Baihaqi)
There are many verses in the Qur'an and many ahadith explaining the reasons behind observing Hijab. The Islamic Shariah has not stopped at giving the Commandments of Hijab, it has also clarified every such thing which directly relates to these commandments and, with the slightest carelessness, may result in vulgarity and immodesty. In other words such things have also been forbidden in order to close the doors to indecency and lewdness, in return providing a stronger pillar for haya.

Modesty (haya) and maintaining one's honour and dignity are of primary importance in preserving the moral fibre of any society. This is why modesty has been called the ornament of a woman, which protects her from many sins and which prevents ill-intentioned men from daring to have bad thoughts about her. This haya has been made a part of her nature to safeguard her from being abused by immoral men.
Narrated on the authority of Anas bin Malik, the Prophet (saws) said: When lewdness is a part of anything, it becomes defective; and when haya is a part of anything it becomes beautiful. (Tirmidhi)

So it is therefore obvious that Hijab plays an extremely important role in regards to Haya, for hijab prevents lewdness and Haya backs this up and then a person's Iman becomes even stronger. So both things work together in a partnership. At the time of our beloved Prophet (saws) as soon as the verses of Hijab were revealed, all the men of the Quraish and Ansar ran home to their wives and daughters and close female relatives to tell them to cover themselves. The ones who had veils used them and the ones who did not have veils made some right away. For instance the following hadith tells us:

Narrated by Aisha (ra): May Allah have mercy on the early immigrant women. When the verse "That they should draw their veils over their bosoms" was revealed, they tore their thick outer garments and made veils from them. And when the verse "That they should cast their outer garments over themselves" was revealed, the women of Ansar came out as if they had crows over their heads by wearing outer garments. (Abu Dawood)
This indicates that all these women wanted to guard their modesty which is why they followed out the orders of Allah. Yet, another verse talk about the level of modesty in Aisha (ra):
Narrated Aisha (ra): "I used to enter my house where Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was and take off my garment, saying that only my husband and my father were there; but when Umar was buried along with them, I swear by Allah that I did not enter it without having my clothes wrapped round me owing to modesty regarding Umar." (at-Tirmidhi and Ahmed)
If women in today's society choose not to wear the veils, but claim some belief in their hearts, then they might be categorised as Muslim women but not Mumineen. The truth is that Haya is a special characteristic of a Mu'min ( believing, practicing Muslims).
People who are ignorant of the teachings of the Prophet (saws) do not concern themselves with Haya and Honour. Haya and Iman are interdependent; therefore either they both exist together or they both perish. Thus, the Prophet (saws) has said in one hadith, "When there is no haya left, then do as you please."

Today vulgarity and all its ingredients have become a common place even among well-known Muslims in the zeal of imitating the disbelievers. It is these people who have been struggling to bring Muslim women out of Hijab into immodesty and indecency. They have adopted the lifestyles of the disbelievers more than the traditions of the Prophet (saws). Such people are in a dilemma. On the one hand, they desire to freely look at the half-clad bodies of their wives and daughters of other Muslims on the streets; and on the other hand, they do not have the courage to deny the teachings of the Holy Qur'an and the Prophet (saws). Neither can they say they have given up Islam, nor can they bear to see Muslim women wear Hijab and showing some Haya. Actually the fact is, indulging in indecency for so long has killed the sense of modesty (haya) which Islam had commanded them to preserve. It is this natural desire of maintaining one's honour which compels men to protect the respect and honour of their women. What these men and women do not understand is that if the women do not observe Hijab and do not develop Haya inside of them, they will be entertaining those who have taken the path of Sheytan. Such as the following hadith:
Malik b Uhaimir reported that he heard the Prophet (saw) saying that, "Allah (swt) will not accept any good deeds or worship of an immodest and vulgar person." We asked "Who is a vulgar and immodest person?" He replied, "A man who's wife entertains Ghair-mehram men."

Now the word "entertains" implies that she is showing off her beauty instead of keeping herself covered up. If the Muslim brothers of today's society knew the benefits of haya and hijab hey would definitely not tolerate the opposite. At the time of our beloved Prophet (saws) the husbands could not even imagine their wives leaving the houses un-veiled let alone go out and beautify themselves for other men to get "free looks". The following hadith shows this fact clearly:
Narrated by Al-Mughira: Sa'd bin 'Ubada said, "I will not hesitate killing my wife with a sword if I see her with another man" This news reached Allah's Apostle who then said, "You people are astonished at Sa'd's Ghira (self-respect, honour). By Allah, I have more Ghira than he, and Allah has more Ghira than I, and because of Allah's Ghira, He has made unlawful shameful deeds and sins done in open and in secret. And there is none who likes that the people should repent to Him and beg His pardon than Allah, and for this reason He sent the warners and the givers of good news. And there is none who likes to be praised more than Allah does, and for this reason, Allah promised to grant Paradise (to the doers of good)." 'Abdul Malik said, "No person has more Ghira than Allah." (Sahih Bukhari)

So this should be enough to understand why Hijab is so important for women to establish Haya in themselves and live the lives of true mu'mineen. Sometimes the situation becomes a such that people will have done wrong/sins for such a long period of time that they will not be able to differentiate between right and wrong. Another way to put this is that, a person's exceeding indulgence in indecency results in the loss of wisdom and the ability to see good deeds from bad deeds.

As the Prophet (saw) said: "I have a sense of Honour ( a part of haya). Only a person with a darkened heart is deprived of Honour."
Here also is ahadith of the seriousness of someone not wearing hijab in that it effects their actions with Allah.
and narrated by Aisha (ra) The Prophet (saws) said: Allah does not accept the prayer of a woman who has reached puberty unless she wears a khimar (hijab). (Abu Dawud)
So one wonders.....what if this observing of Hijab and maintaining Haya is so important then why is it we have nothing to show us the merits? Well the answer to that question clearly lies in the Qur'an and ahadith. There are many merits of Haya if one wants to know. Here are some just to list a few.

Firstly Allah loves Haya. We know this by the following hadith: " Surely Allah (is One who) has haya and is the Protector. He loves haya and people who cover each others faults."(Bukhari)

Secondly, Haya itself is a Greatness of Islam as our Prophet indicated: "Every way of life has a innate character. The character of Islam is haya." Or "Every Deen has an innate character. The character of Islam is modesty (haya)." (Abu Dawood)
Thirdly, Haya only brings good and nothing else. Our Prophet (saw) said: "Haya does not bring anything except good." (Bukhari)

Fourthly, Haya is a very clear indication of our Iman. As the Prophet (saws) had mentioned to the Ansar who was condemning his brother about being shy: "Leave him, for Haya is (a part) of Faith." (Bukhari)

Fifthly, last but not least, Haya leads us to PARADISE. As the Prophet saws) told us: "Haya comes from Iman; Iman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire." (Bukhari)

The actual word Haya is derived from Hayat. This means life. It is only obvious that when someone has Haya in them, they will LIVE a life of Islam. On the other hand if they do not have

Haya they are living a life that is dead "Islamically" but alive according to this dunya.
The Prophet (saws) said: "Haya and Trustworthiness will be the first to go from this world; therefore keep asking Allah for them." (Baihaqi)
In conclusion we must understand that Haya is important for both men and women. Men are to control themselves by getting married as young as possible or if they cannot afford that, they should fast. Women are told to conceal themselves so that the men will not be over taken by the whispers of Sheytan and will not disrespect or take advantage of the women. There are many verses in the Qur'an that have clearly explained how we have to behave and Allah is All-Knowing therefore He knew that we would face these problems living in this society, and that is no excuse to change Islam and only practice what we feel is right. Allah (swt) has told men how to guide their modesty and has told women how to guide their modesty. If either one of them refuse to follow the commandment of their Lord, may Allah have mercy on them and may He guide them to the straight path.

"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty......." (Qur'an Nur, 30-31)

ALL PRAISE BE TO ALLAH, AND MAY HIS PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE UPON MUHAMMAD (SAW), HIS FAMILY, HIS COMPANIONS AND HIS TRUE FOLLOWERS UNTIL THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT.

[umisa]

Jazak Allah brother Abu Muhammad for yet another great and informatine post.

[Alive...]

Salaams
i just read this in an article and i hae a question
---"Men and women should adhere to lowering the gaze. No lustful look should exist. Almighty Allah says: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed." (An-Nur: 30-31) ---
ok this is all clearly stated...but i have dis uncle (my dad's bro) ... n we're very close, i'd say dat he's the closest to me after my bro (looking from the males side) so does dis mean dat im not allowed to hug him...
---can you explain to me: are these the only men (stated in the verse above) dat we're allowed to get in fizicall (wateva u spell it) contact wit??
Salaams

[Alive...]

HELLOOOOO!!!! WAKE UP YOUTHEMERGES !!! WATS UP WIT U GUYS??!?!?

[taSneem]

Here is what I found on the subject, hope it clarifies some things for you sis

A mahram refers to the group of people who are unlawful for a woman to marry due to marital or blood relationships. These people include:

1. Her permanant Mahrams due to blood relationship, and those seven are: her father, her son (who passed puberty), her brother, her uncle from her father's side, her brother's son, her sister's son, and her uncle from her mother's side.
2. Her Radha' Mahrams due to sharing the nursing milk when she was an infant, and their status is similar to the permanent seven Mahrams (i.e. nothing can change their status).
3. Her (in law) Mahrams because of marriage and they are: her husband's father (father in law), her husband's son (step son), her mother's husband (step father), and her daughter's husband.

These categories of people, along with the woman's husband, form the group of allowable escorts for a Muslim woman when she travels.

With reagards to your uncle (your father's brother), from what I know, he is your mahram, therefore, you do not have to wear a hijab in front of him, for instance. It also would be ok for you to hug him, just like you'd hug your brother, father, grandfather etc.

Ask this in teh Ask the Imam section to get a better and more reliable answer inshAllah.

May Allah swt forgive me if I've said something wrong.

[Alive...]

THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH taSneem u rok grL
now it's the rest of the crew's turn to WAKE UP !!!!!!!!!!

[taSneem]

Hehe, you scared me there so I ran quickly to find something. May Allah swt reward you for being such a thinker.

[Alive...]

ima a thinker???? well when i think i sumtimes or maybe most of the time make wrong decisions (im wrking on dat tho ) but it's betta to check in anyway! hehe i didnt mean to scare u but if i alrealdy did it dont metter ha?!?!

[Alive...]

we all gotta be reminded at times